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Golf Verses Poems Quotes

Golf Verses Poems Quotes for your handmade greetings cards and scrapbooks.

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In my hand I hold a ball
White and dimpled, rather small
Oh, how bland it does appear,
This harmless looking little sphere.

By his size I could not guess
The awesome strength it does possess;
My life has not been quite the same
Since I chose to play this game.

It rules my mind for hours on end.
A fortune it has made me spend.
It has made me curse and cry
I hate myself and want to die

I am promised a thing called ‘par’
If I can hit it straight and far.
To master such a tiny ball
Should not be very hard at all.

But my desires the ball refuses
And does exactly as it chooses
It hooks and slices, dribbles, dies
and disappears before my eyes.

Often it will have a whim
To hit a tree or take a swim.
With miles of grass on which to land
It finds a tiny patch of sand.

Then has me offering up my soul
If it will just drop in the hole.
Its made me whimper like a pup,
and swear that I will give it up

And take to drink to ease my sorrow.
But “The Ball” knows…
I’ll be back…tomorrow.

*

Choosing to be great at golf, I bought a golfing book,
Bashing balls for megabucks without a slice or hook?
Balance, grip and leave the wife was Faldo's claim to fame,
Golf clubs branded "Great White Shark" would guarantee my game.

Bought some DVD's and copied Gary Player's stance,
Tiger taught me how to wield a three wood like a lance;
Johnny Daly's trap shot tricks were magic in the sand,
Days went by – my U.S. Open rookie tour was planned.

Shoes by V.J. Singh and cap as worn by Arnold P.
Putter nine feet long and autographed "Trevino, Lee"
Balls designed by laser beams ingrained with extra spin,
Grabbing all my brand new gear, I headed off to win.

"Rookie gets a wild card" was the headline of the day,
Clad in purple plus-fours, striding to the first to play;
Teeing up, I swear I saw a golden bear walk by,
Swung my club, the crowd all gasped, then gave a sorry sigh.

Later on, I sat in silence, getting drunk on wine,
Broke the old course record of eight hundred ninety-nine;
Paparazzi chased me and the phone rang off the wall,
Same old message: "Tell us if you ever hit the ball!"

-by Graeme King- www.kingpoetry.com

*

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain

*

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Billy Graham

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Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
Jimmy Demaret

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Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five

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Golf is a good walk spoiled

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If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business

*

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot

*

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball